Friday, November 17, 2006

Let's take a quick re-cap:

  • i left the house by 10 to 6 instead of 530a for my 7am class (not that bad)
  • i entered the classroom by exactly 7am and attended our lecture in NCM105
  • i ate 1 footlong & a large mango shake (the same old order..tenbits di ako nabusog)
  • had our permanent seating arrangement (ni di ako umalis sa kinauupuan ko,dun pa den sa pinakaunahan..much better para malayo sa ingay/kaguluhan)
  • we had our advisory class, election of new sets of officers (bye josie, former pres./vice-pres of our class)
  • i went in the library to do some research and borrowed books for my report
  • i have already submitted my TOR at the registrar (finally)
  • went home by pass 2p
  • had lunch at 3p
  • started doing my report (ppt pres&hard copy)

               Twas a productive day for me. Kinda dramatic. Kinda different but still, our problem was settled already. hehe :D iloveyou neiLko..haPpy monthsary!! :-* >:D<

Posted at 03:01 by kenzo_gal
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Thursday, November 16, 2006
cHeer uP girL!!

What to do for today:

  • Leave the house by 530
  • Attend our NCM105 lecture (7-11)
  • Let my grades be evaluated again for the 3rd time around
  • Submit my TOR
  • Treat myself
  • Borrow a formal dress to my couz for our photoshoot tom. (grad pix!!)
  • Go home as early as possible
  • Have my beauty rest

            Hey!! Stop crying... Dont make yourself ugly!! better cheer up and make this day as happy as it could be.


Posted at 13:31 by kenzo_gal
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is this day reaLLy speciaL? :-S

               Yesterday in the morning, while i was riding on a baby bus i thought of our day and started to feel like crying. I was able to control it before it fell down on my cheeks because i shoud've been happy to start a good day in spite of not being with you again on our special day. In the afternoon,  i've decided to walk instead of riding on a tryke for me to be alone while entering our subdivision. I dunno what came over me because i dont normally do it on a daily basis. I've noticed that during the afternoon, my energy wasnt that good anymore. And no matter what i do to get over with that sadness twas uselesscry. I dunno if im just making tampo or whatsoever.

               Last night before i go to bed, i've made a message that i intend to send to you at exactly 12 midnight but i wasnt able to make it. I woke up at around 130a and i immediately send it to you. I have to admit that i had a hard time in making myself sleepy because  i kept on checking my fone but unfortunately, i wasnt able to receive any cry. Im just really worried about you maybe because we usually update ourselves on our whereabouts and the like. I told myself not to feel that bad because i have to anticipate the possible reasons why.

               And today, we are on our 2nd month and just like last month, we wont be able to celebrate it together. May this day of ours be a good one. Happy monthsary!! :-S twas a mixed emotion to be exact. Im happy that another month has been added in our relationship and at the same time im kinda sad because of the fact that we cant be together due to our schedules and im hoping that you may find time to text me for me not to worry so much. iloveyou neiLko!! yeah i really do..(tears fell down on my cheeks)

Posted at 05:23 by kenzo_gal
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
why..oh why? :-S

               Few minutes after our general orientation (6th of November), a classmate of mine approached me with regards to the schedule that was released on the 30th of October wherein i was surprised when i saw my name on the list without my knowledge and same thing with my consent. Yeah someone informed me about the OR completion the day before the duty was scheduled and asked me if i can go with them without me knowing that they are the ones who filed a request of duty as volunteers which I believe is pretty much contradicting and that's if you'll ask me. 

These are the questions in my mind and questions that is in need of valid answers

  • how do the names came about?
  • have you thought of the possible consequences of giving names without even talking to them (ahem..kasali ako jan)?
  • do you think we deserve to receive an incident report?why or why not?
  • do we have to pay for the entire duty that we should have attended but failed to do so due to reasons that you guys are the ones who can answer it all?
  • when are you going to explain this incident since twas your idea so basically you started it (sad but true)

                  6 out of 12 students from our section had their scheduled duty but unfortunately, i was one of those who failed to do so due to the late notice that was given to me through text, we had our Halloween Party since my uncle who lives in Oxnard California went home together with his family for a vacation and lastly, i dont think it'll be fair enough if i'll go for completion knowing that a lot of my classmates are really in need of OR cases more than i do since i already had my duty during the semestral break.

                  I've already made my IR with my explanation for that matter and a request of dialogue with our Level IV Coordinator for Clinics and with our Asst. Dean for Clinics as well in behalf of those who are concerned.

                  The intention was good but the outcome wasnt because you should have talked to us before giving out our names. You should have anticipated the possible consequences of your action of not talking to us first. You should have let us know as early as possible because we cant hide the fact that it was all your fault. And look what you've done? Dont leave us hanging. You alone is the key for that locked door. May this be a lesson not only for you but for all of us. LORD may you have mercy on us and we ask for you guidance to be with us always.

Posted at 00:44 by kenzo_gal
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
kinda sad coz ur fears and worries hurts me more :c

            Last  night i thought of what you've said to me. All of your fears and worries that might happen when you leave the country by next year. I dunno if its just that you dont wanna lose me coz you're afraid that i might be with someone else, if you're just making "lambing" or you have an implied message there. I was crying without you knowing it coz beyond my silence was a heart that was secretly hurting inside  and eyes filled of tears flowing. I was wrong when i thought of such implied messsage that you might want to convey but it hurts more when you've shared about your past. Yeah i understand and i couldnt blame you for such thing that she've done to you. But isnt it unfair that her mistakes now becomes a hindrance for you to trust me? As what i kept on telling you...she can never be me and i could never be her. I know and i understand that you've become so paranoid about things that she did to the relationship that you had with her and thats okay with me. Hope you give me a chance to prove myself to you. That im indeed different to her in terms of a lot of aspects in life. Yeah i may not know her personally but i know that in every individual has a distinct characteristics that differs from the others. I, myself have a lot of insecurities, the same thing with my fears and worries in our relationship. The thought of you leaving the country after our graduation day keeps on making me cry because im not that ready to face tomorrow without seeing you and being with you. I know it wont be easy for you too and we both have to make some adjustments. A long distance relationship would be ours as you leave. And i dunno know yet whats in store for us but i know that we can make it just have faith in GOD and have faith in me. iloveyou more than you ever know :c

Posted at 13:37 by kenzo_gal
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
defensive? or just feeLing guiLty??

            Im reaLLy wonderin of why im a feeling so guilty even if my conscience is cLeaN?! no matter how  hard i try not to feel this way..i just cant do it. I dunno what was on his mind from the moment that ive shared to him what was exactly wrong with me. Im not sure if ive thought of the right thing to do in order to adjust and forget about it. But no matter what i do, i just cant get it out of my head. That kind of thought was terrible and it really keeps on haunting me. I've stopped and thinked twice when he sat beside me and said "You dont have to feel that way if we both know that we did nothing wrong, right? Dont worry too much coz i wont leave you hanging. Im just hear and all you have to do is to trust me". Yeah he was right with what he said to me. But im just really wondering  of why oh why am i feeling this way that i know i shudnt be. When we were on our way home, i cant focus and i got really nervous because of what had happened and luckily that he let us talk to settle things on our own. I've appreciated all the things that he did for me. I cant imagine that we both put ourselves in the situation everytime we have problems in order to be fair enough with our reactions rather than doing something without even thinking. I know nothing is imposible with HIM alone because faith can move mountains. I might be so exaggerated but its just that i cant even blame myself and just like what he said to me "im happy because you became true to urself and with me as well". I've apologized on what i've become because of that incident but instead of him getting mad at me, i've felt his concern and how his patience touched me. And im happy enough that in spite of what had happened, we've helped one another instead of making things worst. Im really thankful and will be forever thankful for having you in my life just like what i've told you. I'll take gud care of you and our relationship.

Posted at 18:30 by kenzo_gal
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a song for the guy that i truly love

You're the One I Love -- Jesse Powell
It's like i've never been here before
look at you now, i don't want to wake you
to tell you i feel something more
more then before, i'd be lost without you
in my eyes there's just you and no other
in my heart there's no doubt that you're mine
suddenly i wonder if i told you
what i feel inside
if it doesn't show, baby you don't know i need you, need you
i need you in my life
to you i wouldn't lie, i'll be true, be true
cuz if i never told how would you ever know
that baby you're the one i love..
girl if you could read my mind
then you would see that it's just you and me
and a love that has no sense of time
pictures of you, now and forever
in my eyes there's just you and no other
in my heart there's no doubt that you're mine
suddenly i wonder if i told you
what i feel inside
let me relate to you baby
there's no need to have any doubt
i love you and i'm gonna say the words...
out loud..
love..(fading out)
--This song is actually one of my favorites..
 first heard it on myfavorite radio station (wave89.1)
and now iv been LSS to this song which i think is for someone who complete my whole being..
i know i wont be wrong if i'll let you know that i dedicate this to you alone..
i love you so much without a doubt..we only got 9 days to go!!
and we're goin to celebrate our 2nd months together!!! iloveyou neiLko..i do.. :-* >:D<--

Posted at 16:09 by kenzo_gal
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Monday, November 06, 2006
back to scHooL!!

         I woke up at around 530a and left the house 10min. before 7 so i wont be late in our orientation that we dont have to miss. As i was on the road with those unfamiliar faces around me, i was really bothered with the heavy traffic along aguinaldo hi-way and i kept on looking at the my watch to check what time is it with a dismay on my face. At exactly 8 o'clock I got really nervous coz during that time i was still in Jollibee Kalinisan. I arrived at around 830a, i had my attendance outside and listed down all the cases that i have. I was lucky enough that i wasnt that late because the orientation just started as i have entered the amphitheatre.

What was our orientation all about?

  • NCM105 (Leadership and Management) & RLE (432h)
  • Areas of Clinical Exposure (Community, Special Areas for our completion, and Hospital)
  • Adviser/Lecturer for the entire semester
  • How much is the make-up duty per hour (P66/hr..OMG nagtaas na naman sila)
  • Areas to focus on per cluster
  • School Policies (again and again?!)
  • Feedbacks from some of the affiliate institutions
  • New Policy from the PRC (for operation of more than 2h; for OR cases-2students can get the case(2 for the scrub&2 for the circulating nurse) & for DR cases - 2students can get the case(2 for the actual, handle and cord care)

Posted at 02:04 by kenzo_gal
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Thursday, November 02, 2006

     I woke up today with the same thoughts in my head...thoughts of what's in store for me this coming semester and  I dunno if the same scenarios will come on my way as classes resume next week. Still uncertain if the same stressors will make it hard for me and if I will be able to overcome those.

      Looking back on the days and the months that have passed by, where i was just a new face in the school that i have transferred to and there i was trying to cope up with the frustrations and same thing with the depression that i've been through. True enough that GOD, indeed have better plans for me and ive realized it everytime i look back. Through the ups and the downs of my life, GOD was really true with the promise that HE will never leave us nor forsake us. The same thing with my ever supportive family whose been always there for me, who kept on giving words of encouragement that keeps me going. To my friends who became true to me who proved that they are the ones whom i can really depend on when no one seems to understand. Thanks to YOU! Yeah it might sound exaggerated for others especially to those people whom i havent seen for so long but one thing is for sure you definitely make me happy. Words are not enough. And i intend to make you my only one. iloveyou neiLko!!Ł   Wink  

Posted at 16:38 by kenzo_gal
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
daMn iM iN love!! weee iloveyou neiLko

26th of October 2006 (8:16 AM)

So It's You

He's the guy whom I truly love

I know that he was sent to me from up above

I knew it was love

When I have unselfishly shared all that I have


You and I were both in love

May our hearts be just like the color of a white dove

Every single second that I've shared with you

Turns an ordinary day into a whole brand new


Thoughts of you is always on my mind

I wanna have you forever, if you donít mind

To me, you're one of a kind

My mind is set so I donít have to change my mind


Things and problems encountered in the past

Made us matured enough to think fast

On things to do and not to do

That prevents changes that might make us feel blue


And now that we both have each other

We'll count on the promises that we have from one another

I donít care with what other people say

I love you, that's what really matters and we'll prove them wrong with what they've said

Posted at 18:42 by kenzo_gal
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